Compromise

I was on the phone with my baby earlier and we had a conversation about compromise except all he got from it was that I wanted sex. I tried to point out that compromise was an agreement made between two people but with me and my sex crazed history I guess I couldn’t point out what I really wanted to say. Too many people feel that compromise takes away from who they are as an individual, or is a sign of weakness or makes them appear to be the passive partner in a relationship. Compromise is nothing like that at all unless you make the wrong compromises! What are ‘wrong compromises'? Wrong compromises are where you have you suffered a loss when you compromised with someone. If a compromise makes you feel taken advantage of or wronged then it is not a healthy compromise in any type of relationship. As long as you are not being taken advantage of, a decision made in a relationship to better the relationship is a good one. Often times a compromise is an agreement so that both parties are happy. In any compromise both sides give up something so that they meet in the middle because both sides want to be happy but they give in a little to make the other person happy or to “keep the peace” at home.
Refusing to compromise is a sign of selfishness and a level of immaturity. No one side is ever made happy by getting everything that they want. Even the sun has to share the sky with the moon. No matter how powerful or dominant you are, a balance comes when you can coexist. My grandmother always told me to never say never because you never know what you will or won’t do. Depending on the situation, I can say that I have already done many things that I said I would never do. But I guess I am different. When do you draw the line at compromising? How do know when you have given too much of yourself? Does any one side give up more than the other? These are questions that I thought I knew the answer to but I now see that “change” is truly the only true constant in the world.
Dictionary.com says that compromise is an agreement reached by mutual concession. Mutual is interchangeable with common. Most agreements are made with one common goal of making both parties happy, if happiness is not able to be reached then no agreement is made. What are you willing to give up to ensure someone’s happiness? Do you truly care about the happiness of others? Is selfishness a learned ability? I need answers let me know what you all think.

And this was on the mind of Ivy Thoughts,

If you’re not wearing green, you better be wearing Jade!!!!!!!

It’s not what you are called; it’s what you answer to…..

The other day, I was driving on the expressway. Traffic was merging into one lane and I was in the main lane that the traffic was merging into. The other lane was to yield to my lane. Now there was this woman driving a BMW 325i. I was just going down the highway and ended up cutting her off because she failed to yield to me (my lane). We drive along and get on the main highway and suddenly I hear blowing and I look over to my left and this woman was honking her horn, sticking up her middle finger and yelling obscenity. She even called me a “nigger”. Now the average young black male in Dallas, TX would have run her off the road and made her regret saying that. Me, on the other hand, I just waved and smiled at her. I even blew her a kiss. My methodology was to kill her with kindness. Road rage is a disease that can overtake the strongest person but I refused to allow her name calling take me to a place of regret. She made sure that I knew she called me a nigger because she blew the horn and yelled it over and over again. To me that word simply means “stingy”. I take no offense when someone says that word because it does not apply to me. Communication is based on perception and my perception of that encounter was that lady was pissed off and could do nothing else but yell and scream. Had she been paying attention to the signs on the road she would have slowed down and not even been put in a situation where her blood pressure would be raised. I was once told by a professor of mine that words are only letters and the meaning that we tie to them truly defines them. To a middle aged African American person ‘nigger’ would be an insult. To a teenager ‘nigger’ would be a slang term referring to a friend but to me it simply means stingy. So to all the people in the world who don’t like the word, I implore you to live above the influence and be reminded of the past but let us not get stuck there.

And this was on the mind of Ivy Thoughts,

If you’re not wearing green, you better be wearing Jade!!!!!!!!!!

Encourage Yourself!!!!!!!!

There is a song by Donald Lawrence that says, “Sometimes you have to encourage yourself,” and I find it difficult to do that sometimes. I am normally an arrogant person who is just all about ‘self’ but recently my life has been turned upside down and I have been on a humbling mission. I have learned to respect the opinion of others, I have seen the value in people and I now understand that I am not the center of the universe. But with all this knowledge and wisdom, why is it so hard for others to encourage you. Why do people point out the obvious? I never understand why people see a homeless person and say, “Why are you homeless?” The statement that should be made is, “Here is a fresh set of clothing and I will take you to a place that is hiring so that you can better your situation.” Instead, humans, never take the time to help someone. I find it hard to believe that we live in America, also known as the land of opportunity, and there is no opportunity. People play on the negatives and just brush past the positives. Look at President Bill Clinton, everyone remembers the story about the intern, but they fail to publicize the economic surplus. Everyone remembers the murder of Nicole but forget about all the games that OJ won. We can quickly recall the cases against Michael Jackson, but few can recall that he was the first World Icon (outside of Jesus Christ). The list could go on forever. The news is filled with all of the killings, robberies, fires, car jacking, and negative celebrity news but where is the positive stuff. Our society has become a society driven off of negativity but you would have to just understand that because we started in a negative way. How can you say in God we trust, but you force the originals owners of America on to reservations? But many people feel that we earned what we have, no we took it. So sometimes it is hard to encourage your self when you face our negative history or you just look around and see all of the negativity. I think the song should be rewritten and say, “All the time you have to encourage yourself.”
So people please take the time to be good to others and no matter how they receive you, JUST BE NICE! Smile at that stranger that didn’t hold the door for you. Wave at that person that cut you off in traffic. Like the person that actually took the time to research it, remember it takes 43 muscles to frown and only 23 to smile. When you are nice your day becomes more pleasant!

And this as on the mind of Ivy Thoughts,

If you’re not wearing green, you better be wearing Jade!!!!!!!!!!!

Actions speak

Last night I got drunk and it took me to a place that I hadn’t been in a while. A few years ago, I did the same thing but it was on an extremely larger scale. I embarrassed myself and my best friend of 10 plus years. Our friendships were evaluated and I apologized day after day but they wanted more than just an apology, they wanted actions. So after that I stopped drinking for 8 months because I realized that I had let the alcohol take control of me. I loved the taste of it, the smell of it and how it made me feel. It was literally my drug of choice. I now still have a love for it but I was about to go back down the same road again. A few years before that I was in a car accident caused by another person but I was drinking and got charged with a DUI. Even though the guy slammed on brakes in front of me, the officer smelled the alcohol on my breath and took me straight to jail. So then I lost my car, driver’s license and my mother’s confidence in me. You would think that I learned from that experience. But I still traveled through life thinking that I was in control of the bottle but the bottle had me right where it wanted me. So now I am faced with a choice, happiness with my new boyfriend or the bottle. Clearly I want the happiness with my baby but I have to act like it and not just say it. Actions really speak louder than words. So to all of you out there just because it is legal doesn’t make it right. I was once told “all things in moderation”. I thought I learned that lesson a while back but history has a problem with repeating itself but I refuse to take the road that leads to destruction. I love life, so I will live it to the fullest and make better decisions instead of correcting mistakes.

And this was on the mind of Ivy Thoughts

If you’re not wearing green, you better be wearing Jade!!!!!!!!!

Forgive and Forget or not?!?!??!?!?!?!?!?

So I have a friend who keeps saying things that I have not said. They add stuff to the small things that I do say and try to make it seem like so much more when it was nothing to begin with. I try to be nice and just keep my cool but today I snapped out in a nice way. I expressed my self by saying too much but not saying everything. After I had finished posting my information on the web I began to get calls from close friends telling me that I was wrong. I agreed with them but it was too late, I couldn’t take it back. I could click delete but the damage was done. I feel no remorse because I feel justice was served. It is wrong for me to feel this way and I know God will forgive me but I am not sure if my (ex) friend will. If I could go back in time I wouldn’t change a thing. Some things were shown to people and I hope it doesn’t change how they see me. I am truly a good person at heart but when I am pushed to my limit, I don’t know where to stop. I have learned tact but it is never understood by the object of objection. I mean only to enhance and not to destroy but the truth is never meant to comfort or to ease any pain, the truth is just meant to be. I do my best at being real but even God is rejected for the truth that he has set forth. But time heals all wounds and even if a scar is left the pain is no more. I pray that everyone learns to forgive but always remember the paths that you trod because the future is really funny about leading you right back down some familiar roads.

And this was on the mind of Ivy Thoughts

If you’re not wearing green, you better be wearing Jade!!!!!!!

REAL

Sometimes I try to figure people out. I wonder if they will be helpful or if they will turn their backs on you. You know that real people are the hardest people to come across. With everyone looking at what they can get out of a situation, instead of helping just because, it is hard to welcome everyone you meet. You have to look at the character of a person and see the environment in which they came. Then you can make a decision based on the actions of that person. Don’t judge a book by its cover because sometimes the best novels have the worst artwork on the cover. I found that it is through experiencing a person and entreating them, that you see the real them. I show myself as a faithful and caring person to everyone I meet, but sometimes I am rejected because I am blunt and honest and people can’t accept the truth. But the truth is something that is needed and it is always respected. So if you ever come across me in real-life, just understand that I see the truth. I am honest and I look for that in you.

And This was on the Mind of Ivy Thoughts,



If you're not wearing green, you better be wearing Jade!!!!!

What happens when??????

You feel like you are all alone. You want to talk to that special someone that just makes you smile. What happens when you want to show someone that you care but you feel that you are doing too much? How do you know when you have saturated someone with all of you? You feel that you are just being you. When is too much not enough? How do you take it when someone says, “You love me too much.”? When your whole heart and being just wants to give that love to someone else? What do you do when you completely love yourself? What happens when you show your heart to someone and you trust them undoubtedly? When you feel they can do you no harm but you have given your heart away? What happens when you don’t get the answer you expect? When you go down lover’s lane do you expect to find regret? When your heart is just longing for someone to help?
These are just a few questions that I want an answer to. My grandmother always said that when it comes to love, experience is the best teacher. People always have advice to give when it comes to matters of the heart but because the heart is deceitful from birth, you never know what is what. Someone with out knowledge of me would say that from the aforementioned questions that a stalker or a crazy person could be born from those same questions. But in the end I know that if I ever have a negative answer to the questions about love, I would just pick myself up and wait until ‘love’ gives me the next opportunity to love again. For if I let a negative situation stop me from trusting someone based on my past then I have failed as a lover by nature. I refuse to give up on sharing this beautiful feeling with the world because I was made to love. Love myself first and then everyone else as I love me. But being ‘in love’ is completely different. This is when you are taken to the next level or you allow yourself to freely care about someone unconditionally without any discretion (in my opinion). But like the song says “Why do fools fall in love?” No one will ever be able to answer that question but the very mysterious heart. I love you!!!!!


And this was on the mind of Ivy Thoughts,

If you’re not wearing green, you better be wearing Jade!!!!!

What would I do if I could feel?

In the movie “The Whiz”, the Tin Man asked this question over and over again. When all along he could feel, all the time he cried for “Tini” his metal wife. She put him in a position that too many people currently live in today. I took a long shower today and I looked in the mirror and I was happy to say, “I like what I see!” Many people today can’t say that or don’t even know how to put those words together in a sentence referring to themselves. I sometimes wish I could make everyone see the beauty in themselves. But you know how society always says those sayings, “Beauty is in the eye of the beholder”, “Beauty is only skin deep”, “One mans trash is another man’s treasure”. All of these sayings give way for someone else to validate what is beautiful. I love the song that Lena Horne sang, “Believe in Yourself”, because it shows that we ultimately determine how other people see us. Through our confidence, we can allow someone to treat us in a certain way. It is all about self empowerment. You fail first in your mind. I can’t help you if you can’t see what’s wrong with you. My good friend Ricki always says that the first step is denial and the second step is admittance. If we could get people past step one so many lives could be changed. So if you have ever had a down moment when you feel that you don’t look as good as the next person or even if that next person is better looking than you, take the time to encourage yourself. Because confidence in the end is all you have.

And this was on the mind of Ivy Thoughts.
If you’re not wearing green, you better be wearing Jade!!!!!